How to Save Money for Adoption

Saving Money for Adoption: What We Learned Bringing Our Three Boys Home

Saving money is hard. Saving money while navigating the emotional rollercoaster of adoption? That’s a whole different thing. Adoption costs vary wildly, but in the U.S., private domestic adoptions often reach $50,000-$60,000 (opens in a new tab)—and even when the number is lower, the adoption process can feel overwhelming.

And if you’re anything like we were, you’re caught in a tug-of-war: On one hand, you want to be intentional with your money. On the other hand, you’re not about to let a dollar amount stand between you and growing your family.

I get it. My wife, Christy, and I lived in that tension for three years as we adopted our three boys. We swung between “Let’s borrow as little as possible” and “We’ll do whatever it takes.”

Here’s what we learned along the way about saving money for adoption.

Want to Adopt a Child? Look at Your Money With Eyes Wide Open

As early in the adoption process as possible, get clear about your current financial reality. Not to judge it—not to shame yourself—but to ground yourself. Adoption is emotionally taxing, and knowing where you stand financially protects your energy.  

Some information to gather:

• What’s your monthly take-home pay?
• How much are you spending?
• What do you owe (and to whom)?
• What assets do you have—savings, retirement accounts, anything else?

Your home study may require this information anyway, but writing it down for your sake gives you clarity—one of the greatest gifts you can bring into this process. Plus, you'll need this financial snapshot when applying for adoption assistance programs and grants.

And listen: if looking at your finances makes you want to hide under a blanket, you are not alone. Ours felt like a full-blown dumpster fire. That didn’t stop us from adopting. In fact, facing our reality made us more determined to create a plan that aligned with what mattered most: bringing our kids home.

When you know your numbers, something powerful happens. You know exactly where you can save money and where you can't. You start directing your money with intention. You feel steadier. Decisions get easier. And you free up mental space for things you actually want to think about—like prepping a nursery or scrolling Marketplace for that minivan you suddenly have extremely strong feelings about.  

Save Money Where You Can (Your Future Self Will Thank You)

Every adoption fee you can cover with your own money is one less dollar you need to borrow. And the best way to build that cash? Get on a budget. It'll help you prioritize adoption costs and trim everything else that doesn't align with bringing your child home.

Beyond budgeting, get creative with ways to save extra money: garage sales, selling stuff online, picking up extra work. Whatever fits your lifestyle and energy level during this season. Just remember—this is a sprint, not a marathon. The sacrifices you're making now to save won't (and shouldn't) last forever.

One more thing: as you share your adoption story with friends, family members, and community, don't be surprised if people want to help. We received personal checks from loved ones, and these days you can also set up an online fundraising platform (opens in a new tab). People genuinely want to support families through adoption—let them.

Apply for Adoption Grants (There Are More Than You Think)

Here's something you might not know: there are tons of adoption grants out there. And unlike loans, you never have to pay them back. We're talking hundreds to thousands of dollars that go directly toward your adoption fees.

Start with a quick online search for adoption assistance, but don't stop there. Ask your adoption agency what grants they recommend—they'll know which ones families like yours have successfully received. And tap into online adoption communities; other adoptive parents are goldmines of information about grants you might not find on your own.

Christy and I applied for several grants and received one from the non-profit organization Show Hope (opens in a new tab). It came with some stipulations on how we could use it, but it still made a real dent in our costs. Even if you only land one grant, that's money you don't have to save or borrow—and every bit helps.

Become Familiar with the Adoption Tax Credit

If you live in the United States, the Adoption Tax Credit (opens in a new tab) (ATC) is one of the most valuable forms of adoption assistance available. It can significantly offset your out-of-pocket expenses—things like your home study, agency fees, and travel costs (and this includes international adoption).

I'm not giving tax advice here, so talk to a tax professional who understands adoption. Most states have post-adoption services that can connect you with someone who specializes in this.

There are two ways to approach the ATC:

Option 1: Pay for everything upfront, then enjoy the refund.
This is the safest route. You save or pay for all your adoption costs with your own money, and when the tax credit comes through, it's yours to do with as you please. It requires the most discipline on the front end, but there's zero financial risk.

Option 2: Borrow temporarily, then use the credit to pay off the debt.
This is riskier because you're banking on the tax credit covering what you've borrowed. Christy and I took this path—we used a home equity line of credit to cover most of our costs near the end of the process. Watching that balance grow (and paying interest on it) was stressful. Once the adoption was finalized, all we could do was hope the credit would come through when we filed our taxes.

It did, thankfully. We were able to pay off the entire amount we'd borrowed.

But I won't sugarcoat it—that approach came with a lot of anxiety. If you go this route, just know what you're signing up for.

Give Yourself Grace During the Adoption Process

Looking back, we had our share of stressful financial moments on our way to becoming an adoptive family. But we also did the best we could with what we had—and that's all any of us can do.

There's no single "right way" to save money for adoption expenses. Your journey won't look like ours, and it won't look like anyone else's either. What matters is that you walk through it with eyes wide open, lean on your budget to guide your decisions, and give yourself permission to be imperfect along the way.

P.S. My wife, Christy, is a post-adoption coordinator who works with adoptive parents, and she'd never forgive me if I wrote about adoption without saying this: stay connected, stay supported, and keep learning. The adoption journey doesn't end when your child comes home, and you don't have to navigate what comes next alone.

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